Since I was just a little girl
I've been livin in my daddys world
He's a hero in my eyes
He could turn it all around
fight off every frown
Yet he failed to realize

Just because I said I do,
And had a child of my own...
Ur job as a daddy isn't done
I still need u though I'm grown

U deserve to relax and start taking a little time off for yourself,
But daddy don't forget, the little girl in the picture on the shelf
I appear to be grown, but inside I know I cant do it on my own

Just because I said I do,
And had a child on my own...
Ur job as a daddy isn't done
I still need u when I'm grown

Don't forget about me, ill always be your peanut.
I no longer need your help, discipline or wealth
I just need your love

My husband is amazing
But no time soon is he replacing
The love you gave me as a child
You were often on the road
Burdened by more than just your load
But us kids would always know
That you'd be coming home

When u got there, u took the time to show us that you cared
When you should have been getting rest
things have changed, we've all went our own ways.. But I sure do miss your breakfast

Just because I said I do,
And had a child on my own...
Ur job as a daddy isn't done
I still need u when I'm grown

Don't forget about me, ill always be your peanut.
I no longer need your help, discipline or wealth
I just need your love

You fit the description so perfectly, you're attitude and demeanor look so good to me, the way you handle your business and keep people at a distance, while steady running this is so ridiculous. You're a boss by nature and stay focused on your paper, while ignoring all the haters, and going UP faster than elevators. In my eyes you've reached the sky, but you still try to climb high, youre never satisfied. The dreams in your head are enormous. Reaching your goals is important. You treat everyday like a once in a lifetime performance. While the rest of us run around wyldin, you're at the workplace puttin overtime in. Boy the way you do you, looks way to good to be true. Can I get in on that? Be compliment to your swag. Xoxo, lemme know.

oops

I'm about to self destruct but I really don't give a fuck cuz with my luck ill live another day the same way no change will proceed. I didn't take heed to the warnings I received, I just left it there, carried it no where and here I am where they predicted adjusting to being disrespected, no longer feeling lifted, rather chained. Mangled by the lies that led to my demise I watch the sun fall and rise again and here we are same walls, same floor, same tone, same burn, same hurt, same yearn for change.. with words we rearrange a person. Who u think u r means nothing at the hands of an angry person. To love is to care not disassemble and repair and rebuild and rebreak, I'm sure it was just mistake.. Ill forgive you, yes.. Forget, not yet... Give me a while to supress the denial and accept these facts as my life fades to black that the decisions I've made demonstrate a lack of affection and connection, fear of rejection and from my recollection not nearly enough protection.

i wait in this fake take on life

Two faced and livin a lie, scared to show what I really feel inside. Gotta hide cause my pride will subside and I'd die from the time that you walked from my life but you're blind, you fail to see, this love that devours me, completely. Miserably I wait and make the best of this fake take on life that I conjoured up in my mind, recipe to be happy turned out to be too sappy, too nappy, too crappy for me... Its you that I see and you that I need and you that I breathe but I've fucked up there too... Wasn't there to support you, wasn't there to reward you so here I wait and make the best of this fake take on life till you realize that they weren't just lies, they were stories from inside but I was lost in my own lonely, unappreciated cries.

yet again

In this bed stressed, depressed, from this fucking mess... Yet again! No longer a friend, its the end but I remember how it begain. Letting go, goes to show, you're not as strong as you once thought. Memories I've fought, tried to suffocate but they emerge like a curse and then its just to late. I regress all the steps I took, this looks, all the same. This stupid game. All in my hands and the demands of my heart.. Or my soul. I'm so cold. I don't even know where to go or what to take with me. Should I pack swiftly, is this plane taking flight? Is all this wrong gonna turn right, here soon? Here comes the BOOM.

One too many times already I've heard u hated me. One too many times I've heard I made u sick... U could do so much better, u could have ur pick. I know I make u miserable don't tell me anymore. Too many hang ups, breaks ups, shake ups, make ups. Arguing about things that happened long before. I'm not supposed to cry so much, I think my life is worth much more. So remember how much of a whore I am as I'm walking through that door! Remember my cute puppy face, and how you love my smile. Remember all the holidays as a family with a child. Remember the reason u married me in the first place, when ur saying this was a huge mistake. You hate me everyday, and love me everynight. I hope ur cursed with all the memories of everything that went right. When all the time you tear me down, u expect me to stay around? One too many times I've felt way too much pain... Well imma hit the power button and end this dangerous game.

im just lookin for a little inspiration


someone to lift me up inside

inspiration from their words

their beliefs

inspiration from their eyes and the world they see

to be inspired is to gain wisdom

and wisdom is the most powerful tool

wisdom can be passed on and live forever

as none of us will ever do

inspire me to create a masterpiece

to mold statues out of clay

ill inspire you to do the same

and together, we can play

play on words, play on hearts

this isnt poker im not just cards

if i were a hand id win you see

royal flush

you can be king, but im queen.

extraversion-introversion

So how do you perceive yourself? Is your personality type as extraversion or more of an introversion? I am definately Extravert sided more towards Ambivert. Don't know much about it? You can check it out here on Wikipedia.

People who love the internet are definately Extraverts. You love to be seen, get your name out there, tweet to some celebz "Hey FOLLOW ME!"

I worked in mental health for a while in Winston Salem, NC and became interested in psychology. The human brain does amazing things. So complex beyond our wisdom. Sometimes you have to slow down enough to pay attention to your body and how it works. If you don't know how it works, how every muscle twitch is a set of electricity, proteins moving, cells changing shape, unbelievable...
You should try to learn something about it. They say you should stop 1 minute a day for every year of your age and have "quiet time". 24years old=24 mins a day. It's pretty cool if you do that, but you have to try and block everything out and FOCUS. (F)ollow (O)ne (C)ourse (U)ntil (S)uccess.

Back to our personalities. They say most serial killers are introverts. I believe it. How could you not want to kill someone if you hold everything inside. I do know a few. Introverts are more likely to solve problems in their heads. Extraverts have to be able to take criticism because they put everything out there.

Ambiversion is a term used to describe people who fall more or

less directly in the middle and exhibit tendencies of both groups.

An ambivert is normally comfortable with groups and enjoys social interaction,

but also relishes time alone and away from the crowd.  

That's from Wiki also.

Ambiversion is for normal people. An Ambivert is "normal". Duh.

I dont think its right that the medical profession diagnoses every single character trait an individual might have too much or too little of as a disease. It's all about the money. They diagnose prescription drugs and benefit from it somehow. There are always alterior motives in the world today.

When I was in Radiology Tech school we went into the anatomy lab and saw the dead people. I was interested in learning, not so much feeling. The brain felt like hamburger meat. Ha. Have you watched "The Book Of Eli"? The old people that ate the meat? That plate looked like it had bologna in it. Would you eat people if you had to? Not me.



Im way too spacey to be doing this right now.

I live a pretty boring life but I get to stay home with my son so it's worth the monotony.

Love you if you read this. You are awesome. <3

Ride out.

I'm the tall one on the end in the pink and gray.

Adinas Bday!

Well, not sure where I got the energy from but somehow we made it out! My feet were tired and hurting so I didnt participate much, but I was glad to see everyone! Going out with these girls is a little too crazy for me in my Mommy days, but it sure was fun. Joe was kind enough to cover everyones entire dinner... I should have ate. haha. More pictures will be surfacing the next few days I'm sure, but for now these are some that I have. Others can be found on my Tweetphoto for now till I get my Coppermine set up.

Hello cruel world...

Birthday parties all day today, one for a five year old, one for a 25 year old. They will be occuring at different times and places. 5 year old is supposed to have a 60 foot water slide but I don't think the weather is permitting. The 25 year old is going to Christies Caberet (a titty bar) and then to The Mix Martini Bar where the festivities will continue. Happy birthday Braylon and Adina!
My friend from Basic Training and AIT came to visit me yesterday from Columbia, SC. Her husband is stationed in Fort Jackson for the next three years so we are going use the time wisely and spend as much of it together as we can.
Has anyone watched the "When I Was 17"? I've seen Drake, Snooki, Pharrell. Snooki was so thin and pretty. I'm not a fan of her looks anymore, little too soft for me. I'm a sucker for JWOWW. If people would go with it I would change my name to TWOWW. She's ready to knuckle up at any second for her friends, I love it. Ciara is on the tv show right now. She's the Queen.

We ran into a scrooge while we were out last night. This guy was so serious about us going to play pool with him. I basically had to turn on the "Bitch" and get him out of there. He would throw hissy fits and walk off, then come back and proceed trying to pick us up. His anger issues were clearly visible. He was definately talking to the wrong girls acting like that.
Also, I love when guys try to hit on me by saying they are in the military. They never expect a girl like me to say "Guess what?! I AM TO!"

I'm awesome.

Don't worry.

I promise all my posts won't be emotional poems, just had to get those out of me.

Better watch out for that Black Widow though, that ish is real.

Black Widow

She stands in the darkness eyeing her prize,
jumps out and grabs them as they stand doe-eyed.
She's absolutely beautiful, her smile gives off light.
But look closely in her eyes you'll see something isn't right.

She rides on the wind, makes home where she lands,
until an unexpecting stranger takes a hold of her hand.
Her motives are unclear, she's there and then she's here.
Soon you will know all too well, if this doesn't strike you fear.

Stay clear of this black widow, shes not out to please.
She's seeking refuge in you, spreading the web she weaves.
The unhappy soul she carries, need fufilment from some source.
But patience isnt her virtue, nature wont get to take its course.

Soon all you once knew will be shadowed by her name,
You're family will fall in love with her, she won't feel the same.
She takes what she can get, good riddance to the rest,
Walks away without a word, without a mutter, without a breath.

Rules of engagement can be thrown out the door,
All's fair in love and war.
Love is blinded by her beauty, you dont see the destruction,
Until its to late, the venoms in your veins runnin.


ill continue later, i can go on forever with this one...

A few years ago today..

Oh how all the events..
they unraveled from the core.
You must have felt so alone..
when you headed out the door.

You didnt head down the road,
You could have called a friend.
Why did you take that rope,
and decide today would be the end?

Do you realize what you did to her?
Your mother weeping on her knees.
Did you have this planned ahead?
How did you decide among the trees?

Did JOY fill you up?
did tears start to fall?
did excitement overcome you,
knowing you're leaving behind it all?

Is it a happy moment?
Or is it one that is sad?
You took a friend from us,
and took a son, from a Dad.

We all sat in the church,
and no one could believe,
I know I felt loads of guilt,
and remembered memories.

Your shoes they were scattered,
As your mom said they layed
When you returned to the house
From the events of that day.

A few years ago you decided to leave,
Boldly took that rope and tied it to a tree.

A few years ago you changed all our lives.
Ended yours too soon and headed for the light.


R.I.P Tyler Pope Hill. A dear friend of mine. I wouldn't hesitate to say he was like a brother. He took his life a few years ago... today.

One chance for a first impression...

I started the summer off with a bang, pool everyday, boating, seeing friends, and having fun. Somehow here I am again, blogging like I'm 14. Life can throw you for some loops sometimes, I've had enough.
I love the name I chose for this so maybe it will keep my interest for years to come. Or months would be a step up from the last. I love to write... here I will write. The current topics trending on Twitter are Mel Gibson and that Yankees owner Stein something. There's really nothing to say about that other than it should have been Mel. He is a dark and scary man. He helps out Tom Cruise a lot though, making him look normal and such.
I've been lonely lately. Surrounded by people but none of them spark that something inside of me. I sit here with my son who gets on my nerves pretty bad when I'm feeling this way and wonder why I have let myself care more for others happiness than my own. I have done this for years, it didn't happen overnight. They say it didnt break overnight it wont fix overnight. This makes me believe it will never be fixed because I only have overnight. I've never been good at planning ahead, sticking to the script, everything I do is right here-- right now. Here I am in my miserable mind wishing I could run.
I've always had a tendency to run. I quit jobs, quit teams, quit chasing dreams, just let it all go. Most of the time it isnt because I'm scared, rather because I feel other people deserve it more than me. Life isn't easy with a tender heart.
I feel better already. Thank you Blogger. :)